You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
