I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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