if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize