mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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