that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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