And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
