Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
