we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize