I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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