Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
