She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
