Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
