maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
