She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
