youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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