I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize