i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
