So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
