That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
