it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
