What did we do last night that was yellow?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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