It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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