I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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