My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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