i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
