worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
