So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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