About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
