then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
