then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
