I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
