Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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