Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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