i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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