Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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