I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Houston, we have a blender
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
