Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
