I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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