I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
