Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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