she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
