at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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