So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
