Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize