She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
birth control should be required to get into college
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
