well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
