I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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