I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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