he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
