Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
