i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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