hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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