I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Randomize
