That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
