But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
