we made out on top of his cat.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
