I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
