Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
