I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
