My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
