I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
