My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
