Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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