i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
