please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
