Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
