I must be too annoying 4 u.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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